Fear of Joy

Newsletter August 7, 2023 Together, we're #keepingitsacred...

Did I ever tell you about that time when I was in a Party City with my eldest buying decorations for his birthday party, and a Pointer Sisters song came on? Standing in line to pay, I began lip syncing the song. Other patrons in line say this joy and joined me. And there we were, grown adults belting out “I’m So Excited,” on a random Tuesday afternoon, uniting folks across generation and race. One participant was having so much fun, she asked to record the experience and she shared it with all of us afterwards. The experience still puts a smile on my face. 

Recently, on the evening of July 29, O’Shea Sipley was with his friends dancing and vogueing to a Beyonce song at the gas station in Brooklyn where he was pumping gas. This person would have DEFINITELY been my friend!

But the story took a dark turn when a 17 year old took out a knife and stabbed Sipley in the torso, mortally wounding him. He was just 28 years old. 

Sipley was just expressing himself. Black joy. Queer joy. The joy of a trained dancer and brilliant artist who expressed himself through movement. And who honored his love of being with his friends on a Saturday night. The joy one feels when a favorite song comes on the radio. 

There is a new California Lottery ticket commercial that shows people similarly breaking out into spontaneous dance in a grocery store. Why? Because it is fun. The commercial says that spontaneous public dance is as fun as playing the lotto. 

Dancing is a way to celebrate life. And it is very human to do so. In fact the 1984 movie, Footloose, depicts a character advocating against a ban on dancing by quoting the book of Samuel which tells us: “David danced before Adonai with all his might, leaping and dancing with all his might.” (II Samuel 6:14) And by sharing that Psalm 149 relates, “Praised is Adonai, sing to God a new song, let them praise God’s name in the dance.” Dancing to honor God and feel alive is a time-honored tradition. 

But for the 17 year old in Brooklyn who killed Sipley in Brooklyn , this kind of dancing sparked fear and rage, and he slung homophobic and anti-Black slurs at Sipley. He could have joined in the dancing and everyone could have gone home with a big smile on their face. Or, if he was opposed for whatever reason, he could have simply waited for Sipley to leave after he finished pumping gas. But instead, Sipley left lifeless in an ambulance, and in the days following the teen would turn himself in. He sits in custody today awaiting trial on charges of murder and hate. 

Sipley’s friends are devastated. The Black and queer and Black queer communities are re-traumatized, and again left to organize a memorial service. Why is Black queer joy such a threat? And why do people feel like the logical way to shut it down is to kill? Where is the sense of sanctity for human life?

Beyonce, Spike Lee, and others have expressed messages of support for Sipley. And God knows so many of us are organizing every day to simply give space to the idea that everyone is worthy of celebrating. 

And how do we make space for one another’s joy? To celebrate one another’s love of life and expression of that? Joining local movements celebrating Black, queer joy in loving memory of O’Shea Sipley is a critical step in honoring humanity and the Creator of us all. Let’s find ways to hold this sacred space together.

Together, we're #keepingitsacred...

 Rabbi Heather Miller

Founder, Keeping It Sacred

---

The above is an excerpt from a Keeping It Sacred newsletter. If you want to read the entire newsletter or any from our archives, please head over to: keepingitsacred.com/news 

And if you'd like the newsletter delivered to your inbox every week, please share your name and email address in the fields at the bottom of the page in the purple boxes.

Thanks for your interest, and thanks for #keepingitsacred...