The Beat of Our Own Drum
- Rabbi Heather Miller
- May 3
- 16 min read
Updated: Jul 29
Newsletter May 4th, 2025 Together, we're #keepingitsacred...
I have noticed that for so much of my life, I have worked hard to “fit in.” But whenever that has happened, I have found it comes at a cost.
Whether in the form of submitting to peer pressure to engage in an awful senior prank in high school that compromised my values, or the simple the pain of blisters on feet from wearing heels. Sometimes trying to fit in is painful.
Being the “weird” one or “odd man out” or the “misfit” doesn’t feel good. But over the years, I have come to realize the deeper truth of how good it can actually feel to live your truth. Or personally, for me to live my truth.
Coming out and marrying a woman, my Melissa, for instance, has yielded immeasurable joys.
Striking out-of-the-box to form this new community, our Keeping It Sacred community, was not entirely easy. And it took many years for me to realize it would be necessary and good for me and the Jewish people.
I knew I’d have to explain our unconventional name, our LLC structure, our “virtual” community, but wow what a joy to feel entirely grounded and full of integrity being the rabbi I was meant to be. Being the rabbi to you, dear reader.
Today is the 18th anniversary of my rabbinate. Today, I am reflecting that my rabbinate is so deeply fulfilling because in you, I have found a community of people who find freedom and acceptance and affirmation engaging in a space that values innovation. Here, we dance to the beat of our own drum. And wow is it energizing!
After 18 years as a rabbi, I feel like my rabbinate is finally being realized and utilized and of service in the ways I always hoped it would be received. Being the best rabbi I can be in the best and most authentic way I know how. Together, we are building our happy little tenderhearted and nerdy community—and that is everything.
I know that for so many of you, this community has been affirming as well. You have told me how meaningful it is that we lovingly embrace you—each multi-hyphenate person, interfaith couples, those who are homebound, or unable to make consistent financial contributions. People who have, for one reason or another, not been able to find community elsewhere. You know that here, you are valued and appreciated. You are such a gift.
Someone once told me that not every rabbi was made for every Jew, and not every Jew for every rabbi. Whether this is true or not, one thing is clear: I was made a rabbi for you.
I cherish your questions and sharing of your grief, your simchas and yearnings for justice, your insights and wisdom. All of it. I am here for it and I am here for you.
Thank you to everyone who called me “rabbi” in these past 18 years and meant it. Thank you to everyone who has supported the nurturing of this community. This is how we build together and keep it sacred.
Together, we’re #keepingitsacred…
Rabbi Heather Miller
Founder, Keeping It Sacred
CELEBRATE 18 YEARS OF RABBI MILLER
If you would like to make a gift to Keeping It Sacred in honor of Rabbi Miller's 18th Anniversary of her Ordination, please do so HERE: https://www.keepingitsacred.com/our-future
Help her ensure that every community member knows that they are a valued part of the whole. Your generous support helps Keeping It Sacred:
Unlock access to learning the wisdom of ancient texts
Create authentic, empowered community
Reach out to our interfaith neighbors and friends
Create a community that effects positive social change
THANK YOU for your support!
Photo above: Rabbi Miller (right) and rabbinical classmate, Rabbi Leah Berkowitz (left), taking time last Friday to reflect on the past 18 years, dancing to the beat of our own drum!
MAZAL TOV KATE & EVAN!
The entire Keeping It Sacred community extends a hearty Mazal Tov to Kate and Evan on a huge week! Kate officially became a member of the Jewish family on Tuesday in front of three members of the Sandra Caplan Beit Din including our own Rabbi Miller who wholeheartedly sponsored her conversion process. She followed with immersion in the supportive waters of the mikvah.
Then, she and her beloved Evan exchanged vows under their one of a kind chuppah crafted with love by her dear family friend, renowned artist Mineo Mizuno. The groom wore a yarmulke that was thoughtfully lined with the bride’s family’s tartan, and both were wrapped in his bar mitzvah tallit as members of their family approached and blessed them. Rabbi Miller lifted up the words that adorned their ketubah which recognized that they had found the one that their soul loves. Friends and family lifted them in chairs during the hora and the celebration continued into the night on the grounds of the Huntington Library in San Marino, CA. Our global community celebrates them, now and countless years to come! (...Stay tuned for more photos to come!)
KITS SOCIAL ACTION IN LA CLUB
KITS SAIL CLUB UPDATE We hope you’ll join us at one or more of the following;
May 5 (In Person) 9am PT: Day of Action in Downtown LA
May 13 (Zoom) 9am PT: KITS SAIL Community meeting
June 3 (Zoom) 9am PT: KITS SAIL Community meeting
June 6: Walk & Play fundraiser for Los Angeles Children’s Hospital (details HERE)
June 7 (In Person) 10:30am PT: Interfaith Pride Celebration at San Vicente & Santa Monica Blvd→ Volunteers needed to read a memorial prayer by Rabbi Miller
(email rabbimiller@keepingitsacred.com to indicate interest)
GOOD NEWS Thanks to our collective efforts raising money for bail bonds for detained immigrants, CLUE was able to obtain the release of a 48-year-old Nicaraguan mother of 3 who has been at Adelanto detention for almost 7 months! She was illegally detained at her scheduled immigration hearing back in October and hasn't seen her children since. Thanks to you and this effort, she is home today!
COUNT THE OMER WITH US!
This is the last week to join our social media platforms: Instagram and Facebook, to follow along with counting the Omer, a tradition that continues for 49 days. The counting of the omer was once a harvest season ritual that was adopted by the Kabbalists who infused a spirituality and intentionality into the practice. Check out our social media daily for seven weeks of seven days of readings, and meditative prompts to spark introspection and spiritual strength. This custom traditionally links the second night of Passover with Shavuot (day 50!). Join us in this spiritual exercise as we climb up from oppression to the celebration of the giving of the Torah.
SIYYUM TRACTATE MENACHOT
MAY 7TH - 12PM PT/3PM ET – Join us as we celebrate the completion of our study of Tractate Menachot. We will enjoy a traditional siyyum (culmination) ceremony— please bring your favorite gleanings, and a fun hat to celebrate!
Please join us. Register here: keepingitsacred.com/upcoming
SPIRITUAL GENTLENESS BOOK CLUB
MAY 11TH, 4PM PT/7PM ET – Are you interested in holding spiritual space for healing through reading and community? Then please consider joining our KITS Spiritual Gentleness Book Club (SGBC) led by members Ashleigh and Tracy. The SGBC explore books in monthly meetings, with topics and discussions centered on the questions that arise for those who are new to Judaism. With a collaborative approach to book discussion, we envision this book club as a place to make new friends, have nuanced and meaningful discussions, and deepen our relationships with Judaism. Gatherings held on Mondays at 4pm PT/7pm ET.
During our next meeting, we will start reading Yentl's Revenge (link here: https://www.amazon.com/Yentls-Revenge-Next-Jewish-Feminism/dp/1580050573).
Thanks in large part to the struggles of their activist foremothers, today’s young Jewish women have a dizzying array of spiritual options. Yentl’s Revenge chronicles a range of experiences lived by an entire generation of women, from Judeo-pagan witches to young Orthodox mothers, from rabbis to sex educators. Contributors ponder Jewish transgenderdom, Jewish body image, Jewish punk, the stereotype of the Jewish American Princess, intermarriage, circumcision, faith, and intolerance. Essays include "Bubbe Got Back: Tales of a Jewish Caboose” by Ophira Edut, and "On Being a Jewish Feminist Valley Girl” by Tobin Belzer.
Please register here for our full schedule of chapters to cover: keepingitsacred.com/upcoming
REFLECTION SHABBAT
MAY 15TH, 5:30PM PT/8:30PM ET – Participate in accessible, relevant, and empowering Friday Night Shabbat Services with Rabbi Miller and Max Winer. Live zoom online or in-person in Los Angeles!
To attend in-person, please contact rabbimiller@keepingitsacred.com
KITS CREATIVITY CLUB
MAY 17TH - 9AM PT/12PM ET – Calling all creative people and people who want to create! Enjoy a chance to hang out with other Keeping It Sacred community members, get to know each other better.
Please join us. Register here: keepingitsacred.com/upcoming
SPECIAL SHAVUOT SERVICE
MAY 22ND, 5AM PT/8AM ET – Enjoy a service live from Boston in our Special Shavuot Service on May 22nd at 8am ET. Text Study with a chance to recite the mourner's kaddish in community.
If you'd like to attend in person, please email rabbimiller@keepingitsacred.com
To attend via zoom, please register here: keepingitsacred.com/upcoming
IN LOVING MEMORY OF MATAN KOCH Z"L
Last week, Rabbi Miller mentioned the passing Matan Koch, z”l. He was a tender hearted and effective disability rights advocate who tenderly writes about the experience of standing at Mount Sinai as someone relegated to a wheelchair.
See his impactful writing here: https://www.matankoch.com/blog/2015/05/28/sermon-slam-standing-at-sinai
And hear Rabbi Leah Berkowitz's beautiful eulogy (photo of her above delivering it) HERE (beginning 32m in):
NEW INTRO TO JUDAISM FORMING!
Congrats to those that just concluded our latest Intro to Judaism class cycle today! Mazel Tov to those who completed it, it was such a joy to study the history, culture, identity, and calendar of the Jewish people together.
If you are looking for an Intro to Judaism class taught by a rabbi committed to the values of making Judaism accessible, relevant and empowering? Classes are forming now! Email Rabbi Miller your interest at rabbimiller@keepingitsacred.com.
FROM THE SANDRA CAPLAN BEIT DIN
Recently, the Sandra Caplan Beit Din posted this caption with this photo of our own Rabbi Miller with two colleagues after having adjudicated a beit din. They are glowing!
"What a pleasure to see the smiles of Rabbi Heather Ellen Miller of #keepingitsacred, Rabbi Corinne Copnick, and Rabbi Mark Sobel as they participated in a Rabbinical Conversion Court through the Sandra Caplan Community Bet Din. Thank you to the Maas Center at AJU and Anarose Feiner-Kaufman for facilitating the Mikvah!"
See the post here.
TOOLS FOR COMMUNITY, CARE, & RESISTANCE
From our wonderful KITS member, Erin-Kate Escobar:
If you’ve been feeling like it’s harder and harder to be a human at work right now, you’re not imagining it. Between rising fascism, dehumanizing capitalist norms, and the pressure to “perform professionalism,” many of us are stretched beyond what’s sustainable. We need spaces that honor the truth of what we’re living through and help us remember we’re not alone.
Whether you're leading an organization through funding uncertainty, managing diverse teams in fast-paced environments, or working in tech while trying to create positive change, this series gives you concrete tools to build power with—not over—your communities.
The sessions will take place on April 16, April 23, April 30, and May 7 at 10-11:30am PST/1-2:30pm EST, online only.
If you are a leader seeking grounded strategies for navigating complex times while staying connected to your values, this series may be for you.
Learn more and register here: https://www.rexwilde.com/cultivating-our-collective-power
TAMUZ ROSH CHODESH RACIAL JUSTICE BOOK REVIEW
JUNE 18TH - 9:30AM PT/12:30PM ET – We will be reviewing our study text, “In Open Contempt" by Irvin Weathersby Jr. We are committed to beginning each month with a compassionate, principled vision of racial justice. We will continue our text with Chapter 5.
Please join us. Register here: keepingitsacred.com/upcoming
ALL NIGHT STUDY ON SHAVUOT
We are so excited to invite you to this year’s Tikkun Leil Shavuot: A Night of Study with URJ Small Congregations on May 21–22 from 8 p.m.-10 a.m. ET.
This is such a special opportunity to come together with rabbis and cantors from small congregations across North America for a full night of learning, connection, and inspiration. You’ll be able to choose from 26 unique sessions exploring themes of Shavuot, biblical texts, Israel, and liturgy.As we get closer to the event, the full schedule of breakout sessions will go live on the website. Whether you join for an hour or stay up all night, we would truly love to have you be part of it. We hope you’ll join us for what promises to be a meaningful and energizing experience. Register here: https://urj.tfaforms.net/901?id=701UG00000fOH6Z&utm_campaign=sfmc&utm_medium=email&utm_content=5/1/2026__EmailJobID-9446921___
YORBA LINDA CALIFORNIA TEMPLE PUBLIC OPEN HOUSE
This is coming to us from our interfaith friends at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We have shared our passover seder with them, and now they welcome us to come learn about their newest temple. All are welcome: members of their church, members of the community, and anyone who just wants to see what a temple is about.Once the temple is dedicated, the entrance is reserved for members of the Church. This open house is a unique opportunity for everyone to tour this sacred space and enjoy the beautiful grounds.
Thursday April 30–Saturday, May 23, 2026Monday–Friday 10:00 a.m.–8:00 p.m.Saturday 9:00 a.m.–8:00 p.m.(excluding Sundays and May 2, 2026 before 2:00 p.m.)
Register here for free: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/yorbalindacaliforniatempleopenhouse/1831490
RECORD WITH ATRA & THE STARFISH INSTITUTE
A think tank centering on rabbis called Atra is partnering with the Starfish Institute, a systems change organization that helps fields map excellence and coordinate lasting change. Together, we are working to identify what enables rabbis to have meaningful, lasting impact, and how those conditions can be strengthened. Alongside continued data analysis and conversations, we are focusing on something more qualitative: real moments of leadership as they are experienced.
Could you share a specific moment when a rabbi’s leadership made a meaningful difference to you or your community?
Community members/community leaders: record a story here (https://atrarabbis.acemlna.com/lt.php?x=4lZy~GDEUqSc6XKvz_DKhOag~3-pvNPuvM4xZ8U2VXWb650tzUy7welyPbKRikAnAuYxX6HEInPs563AyNx) or write one here (https://atrarabbis.acemlna.com/lt.php?x=4lZy~GDEUqSc6XKvz_DKhOag~3-pvNPuvM4xZ8U2VXWb650tzUy7welyPbKRikAnAuYxX6HEInPs563AyN1)
If you have any technical difficulties or questions, please email mailto:ilana@starfishinstitute.org
HOW DO WE CONTINUE TO WORK IN COALITION, EVEN WHEN WE ARE IN DISAGREEMENT?
In 2024 & 2025, a Black/Jewish/Black & Jewish cohort called "Bridging Histories" gathered monthly at the Skirball Center to break bread together and grapple with the state of our coalition.
One of the richest discoveries that was made during our time together was the importance of The Bradley Coalition in our local history - the strong Black/Jewish alliance that voted Bradley in as mayor, and how that coalition ultimately dissolved. In a time where the Middle East continues to drive a wedge through vital alliance spaces, we see the study of this coalition as a way for us to identify and alchemize the learnings of the solidarity spaces that came before us. Our goal is to find new ways into the question: How do we continue to work in coalition, even when we are in disagreement?
Save the date: Sunday May 17th 2pm-4pm PT in-person for the first of four community gatherings to hear from those who were on the ground during that time.
There are many of us here in Los Angeles who have been leaning into one another, engaging in courageous conversations centered in curiosity and hope. Let’s all gather for this offering, so we can see and feel our numbers while we learn together.
You do not have to be Black or Jewish (or both) to engage with this conversation. This is open to the public and is relevant to anyone curious about coalition building, so please feel free to forward to anyone in your life who is craving community around this subject (though no posting on socials please). Let Rabbi Miller if you're interested in joining at rabbimiller@keepingitsacred.com.
HEALING CIRCLE & TALMUD TEXT STUDY EVERY THURSDAY
JOIN our healing circle EVERY THURSDAY at 10:30am PT/1:30pm ET holding space for all looking for prayers for healing.
Immediately following that: at 11am PT/2pm ET, join us as we jump into a conversation with the rabbinic sages of old. We enjoy studying a page of Talmud every day and reviewing together every Thursday, adding our perspectives and the relevance to our own lives as we go along. We enjoy participation from participants across the world who span the spectrum of race, gender, class, age, and connection to Jewish thought.
The rabbis could never have imagined such a wonderful group considering their thoughts!
What people say:
"Yesterday's class was superb!! I remain impressed by so many things that you do! You are able to keep us on track, share (some of) your knowledge with us, make all sorts of connections to the Jewish and secular worlds, and meet each of us where we are! Kudos to you!!"
"Talmud study has opened a window to that world for me. I love the anthropology and sociology of it all."
"The minority opinions may someday count as much as the majority opinions. It reminds us that things change the Halacha changes and we change each year that we read it."
"We have the opportunity to compare the Halacha we are practicing today with the one they were writing and studying in the Talmud... It has been very interesting how things have evolved how we keep the tradition in our own way."
"I feel very close to this amazing group and I'm grateful to Rabbi Miller for conducting it."
To join, please register HERE. And look for us on Instagram HERE.
ALSO we have been studying the construction of the Second Temple-- check out this awesome link to a tour through a virtual representation of the Second Temple to help visualize what we're studying HERE.
OUR 2025 ANNUAL REPORT!
Our 2025 Annual Report is here, and it tells the story of what we have built together this year: deep learning, bold justice work, sacred celebration, and powerful connection across the globe. We are so grateful that you choose to be part of this beautiful, growing global community connected by purpose, courage, and heart.
Take a few moments to read the report and celebrate what we’ve made possible together here: keepingitsacred.com/our-annual-reports
ADD THE KITS CALENDARS TO YOURS AND NEVER MISS AN EVENT!
Keep up with KITS programming! KITS offers events at least twice a week, make sure you’re in the know by adding the Google Calendar here or
To subscribe on iCal, copy and paste the following link into your calendar app's 'Add Calendar by URL' option: webcal://p164-caldav.icloud.com/published/2/MTAwNTkyMDg4MjcxMDA1OQR0fuSCoir8-IUKE7Pl_mtLL6wCWL8UsFQl0SOGOutaVvSGypiGpw8QpGzN3GB97CHqafkuA4hx2U97b43we1c
LET'S CONNECT ON SOCIAL MEDIA
Join us online at: keepingitsacred.com, Instagram accounts @hearabbi and @keepingitsacred, our Facebook pages HERE and HERE, YouTube Channel HERE and podcasts everywhere. Join us there for updated Talmud posts, Torah commentary, inspirations and invitations to gather online and in person.
Whether you found us through a friend, neighbor, a listserve or browsing the internet, we are glad you're here!
HELP US KEEP IT SACRED
Love the Newsletter? Help Keep It Sacred!
If you’re reading this, you’re part of the Keeping It Sacred community—no dues, no gatekeeping, just connection, learning, and inspiration.
Many of you tell us how much the newsletter means to you—like this note from a reader:“Rabbi, there are dozens, if not hundreds, of emails that flood my inbox daily. The majority are deleted without hesitation. Then there are those that are work related or personal. Then there are yours. When I read your emails, they fill a void I didn't even know was there. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.”
We’re so grateful to everyone who makes this possible through generous contributions.
If this newsletter brings you insight, comfort, or a sense of belonging, please consider making a donation today to help us keep it going strong.
Give here: keepingitsacred.com/our-future
Thank you for being part of our sacred community.
UPCOMING EVENTS:
iCal USER?
If you use iCal and would like the complete Keeping It Sacred calendar added to your calendar, click HERE. This way you won't miss an opportunity to connect via our LIVE activities.
EVERY DAY
Please enjoy TWO seasons of our 7-episode web series People Keeping It Sacred and our Jewish Holiday series called "A Bit About..." both available on YouTube HERE and via podcast on your favorite podcast player including: PocketCasts, Apple + Podcasts, Spotify and more HERE.
ONGOING: SPIRITUAL COUNSELING
Rabbi Miller is available for 1-on-1 spiritual counseling; pay what you can. Topics are based upon the participant and can include your personal theological understanding of coronavirus, spiritually making space for others in your home, the spirituality of isolation and finding your way back to sacred connection. For more information, click HERE.
4/27 INTRODUCTION TO JUDAISM
10:30-11:30am PT/1:30-2:30pm ET: Our Introduction to Judaism online course will give participants a strong foundation for authentic and empowered engagement in the Jewish community. This 18-session program is the perfect introduction to Jewish living, theology, texts, history, holidays, and rituals. Register here: keepingitsacred.com/upcoming
4/30 HEALING CIRCLE
Thursdays at 10:30am PT/1:30pm ET. Join us as we gather every Thursday for a Prayer Circle. Lift up names of those who are ill and join together for support and community. All are welcome.
4/30 PAGE-A-DAY OF TALMUD DAF YOMI GROUP MEET-UP
Thursdays at 11am PT/2pm ET. Join us as we review the past week's Talmud readings in sacred international community. No experience necessary but be ready for some interesting discussions. Bring what you know about Torah, but also what you know to be true from your own life. Your insights are appreciated.
5/7 HEALING CIRCLE
Thursdays at 10:30am PT/1:30pm ET. Join us as we gather every Thursday for a Prayer Circle. Lift up names of those who are ill and join together for support and community. All are welcome.
5/7 PAGE-A-DAY OF TALMUD DAF YOMI GROUP MEET-UP
Thursdays at 11am PT/2pm ET. Join us as we review the past week's Talmud readings in sacred international community. No experience necessary but be ready for some interesting discussions. Bring what you know about Torah, but also what you know to be true from your own life. Your insights are appreciated.
5/7 SIYYUM TRACTATE MENACHOT
12-1pm PT/3-4pm ET. Join us as we celebrate the completion of our study of Tractate Shavuot. We will enjoy a traditional siyyum (culmination) ceremony— please bring your favorite gleanings, and a fun hat to celebrate!
5/11 SPIRITUAL GENTLENESS BOOK CLUB
Are you interested in holding spiritual space for healing through reading and community? Then please consider joining the KITS Spiritual Gentleness Book Club (SGBC) led by members Ashleigh and Tracy!
5/14 HEALING CIRCLE
Thursdays at 10:30am PT/1:30pm ET. Join us as we gather every Thursday for a Prayer Circle. Lift up names of those who are ill and join together for support and community. All are welcome.
5/14 PAGE-A-DAY OF TALMUD DAF YOMI GROUP MEET-UP
Thursdays at 11am PT/2pm ET. Join us as we review the past week's Talmud readings in sacred international community. No experience necessary but be ready for some interesting discussions. Bring what you know about Torah, but also what you know to be true from your own life. Your insights are appreciated.
5/21 HEALING CIRCLE
Thursdays at 10:30am PT/1:30pm ET. Join us as we gather every Thursday for a Prayer Circle. Lift up names of those who are ill and join together for support and community. All are welcome.
5/21 PAGE-A-DAY OF TALMUD DAF YOMI GROUP MEET-UP
Thursdays at 11am PT/2pm ET. Join us as we review the past week's Talmud readings in sacred international community. No experience necessary but be ready for some interesting discussions. Bring what you know about Torah, but also what you know to be true from your own life. Your insights are appreciated.
5/28 HEALING CIRCLE
Thursdays at 10:30am PT/1:30pm ET. Join us as we gather every Thursday for a Prayer Circle. Lift up names of those who are ill and join together for support and community. All are welcome.
5/28 PAGE-A-DAY OF TALMUD DAF YOMI GROUP MEET-UP
Thursdays at 11am PT/2pm ET. Join us as we review the past week's Talmud readings in sacred international community. No experience necessary but be ready for some interesting discussions. Bring what you know about Torah, but also what you know to be true from your own life. Your insights are appreciated.
THANK YOU!
You are a cherished member of this community, and we love to hear from you-- what questions do you have? Reach out to rabbimiller@keepingitsacred.com or via phone at 818-312-8388 anytime to let us know what you’re finding meaningful, inspiring and what you’d like to see.
Together, we're #keepingitsacred...
For more information, please see the full newsletter and our full newsletter archive at keepingitsacred.com/news
And to sign up for the newsletter every week, please sign up at the bottom of the page in the purple boxes-- we just need your name and email address.
Thanks for your interest, and thanks for #keepingitsacred…
