Compassionate Engagement

Newsletter March 4, 2024 Together, we're #keepingitsacred..

Last night I spoke to an interfaith study group at the Islamic Center of Southern California with colleagues Rev. Jonathan Stoner and Chaplain Khurram Ahmed. We were there to discuss grief and loss in general, and especially at this moment in time in world history. Each of us drew on our experience as providers of pastoral care to share the 10,000 foot view of Human Nature around grief and loss.

Chaplain Ahmed and Rev. Stoner shared reflections on the senseless nature of suffering they bear witness to in their work in a hospital setting. Especially in the children's ward. We stood in unity to note that death and loss strike in ways that don't make sense to the human mind or heart. It is definitely a Mystery, (with a capital "M").

We reflected on the varied ways people express grief, and how our reactions to loss are worth noticing even as we are grieving. As examples, I offered biblical texts that highlight the breadth of expression of grief. On the one hand, we have the vocal wailing of Hannah who cried out to God over her inability to bear children (in the book of I Samuel, chapter 1). And on the other hand we have the muted response to loss captured by patriarch Aaron, who the text notes, "was silent," in the wake of the death of his sons Nadav and Abihu (Leviticus, chapter 10).

It seems that who grief strikes and how grief strikes is not dictated by rhyme or reason, and that adds to the unsettling that accompanies it.

Each of us shared some of our thoughts on grief over the losses and death that have transpired across our communities, including in the violence in Israel and Gaza recently. We noted the layers upon layers of grief our communities are experiencing including ancestral trauma, loss of innocent lives, implications for our communities here in the United States, and our grief over our inability to stop the violence.

Our gathering provided a forum for participants to share and connect through personal layers of trauma experienced over lifetimes. One woman I sat with told of her childhood experience (from ages 7-11) in several Japanese interment camps during World War II. We shared ways we cope and pray and hold and move through our grief.

We only scratched the surface of understanding one another's personal and communal traumas. It was clear that in this interfaith space, folks were dedicated to deeply knowing one another, understanding one another's losses, and to holding space to grieve together.

Because of the sensitive nature of these conversations, this event, sponsored by the Interfaith Solidarity Group, was not recorded and was not live-streamed. But there will be upcoming opportunities to gather again locally in Los Angeles (if you are in Southern California, please email me at rabbimiller@keepingitsacred.com to indicate interest in attending upcoming in-person events). In addition, our community is committed to hosting programs in the future online as well. We are looking to bring the Parents' Circle to our community in what will be a powerful sharing of experience-- this event will be shared in the newsletter soon-- stay tuned!

And this month and for the next several months, our Rosh Chodesh Racial Justice Book Review is another forum in which we are currently exploring grief and loss as a community. We are reading Grieving While Black by Breeshia Wade, and exploring the layers upon layers of grief that accompany historical and contemporary racism in the United States. (Join us for that next on March 14; register here). From the book, I am gleaning a deeper understanding of the spiritual violence unaddressed grief and trauma perpetuates. And, I find it meaningful to explore with our tenderhearted KITS community members intent on the work of repair.

When we show up in each and all of these sacred spaces with open hearts and spirits seeking to explore and understand and compassionately engage, we offer one another an opportunity to connect on a human level. And that's a beautiful way to keep it sacred.

Together, we’re #keepingitsacred...

Rabbi Heather Miller

Founder, Keeping It Sacred

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The above is an excerpt from a Keeping It Sacred newsletter. If you want to read the entire newsletter or any from our archives, please head over to: keepingitsacred.com/news 

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Thanks for your interest, and thanks for #keepingitsacred...